#this drawing isnt very good but i had to get the idea down

[tabooiart]

ok guys hear me out on this one. au where all the kids get brought back to life and karnak is there but as like the owner of an eccentric curio shop

[deoidesign]

Look at these stickers my brain is literally so huge. God. I love them so much.

I hadn't tried to do a sticker sheet at home before because I knew it would be difficult, and I was right! Getting the cut lines to line up with the print was super hard and there were many failed attempts, but it was so worth it I'm so happy with them!!!

This sticker sheet is for my patrons this month ^^

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt Sif Odile duo looping au again and I wanna be able to plot everything out more coherently but act 5 eternally looms overhead and boy I do not wanna look up

[the-s1lly-corner]

Drawing each other (Slasher edition)

help im getting good ideas for writing but idk what fandoms to write it for so uhuh... i guess writing for the mains ones i write for! woo yeah! characters: jason voorhees, brahms heelshire, bubba sawyer, thomas hewitt, Michael myers notes: reader is GN, admin did a coin clip on whether or not the reader is an artist cws: none

JASON

sometimes sitting in the cabin all day can get a little boring, you were the one who brought up the idea of drawing each other

neither of you are particularly good at drawing but that doesnt mean the two of you arent going to have fun

hes a little embarrassed to show you his drawing of you, hes hesitant to turn the paper around to show you

you didnt have much access to many drawing supplies, a lot of what you already had was crayons and colored pencils stolen from the camp, as well as the paper

he doesnt care if the drawing doesnt look the best, hes in love with just about anything you do or anything that has to do with you

he keeps the drawing folded up and tucked in his shirt pocket!

BRAHMS

hes actually pretty decent at drawing, using that to spend his time when hes not watching you from the cracks in the walls

on top of that hes pretty confident in his ability

you, on the other hand.... i dont think he would make fun of your work, but its clear that theres only one artist between the two of you

keeps the drawing you make of him in his little hiding place in the walls

takes a long minute to look at your drawing of him, its hard to read what hes thinking in that moment

more than proud of his drawing of you, you likely have to remind him to hurry up.. hes going to spend a lot of time on it

will expect a compliment for his work- and dont think he wont compliment your work either!

MICHEAL

you got the idea while doodling random stuff in your sketchbook, deciding to take this as a moment to do something together

he doesnt get it at first but hes... probably... not going to just walk away from you

a decent artist himself, he doesnt draw often but its clear he knows some of the basics of art

very quiet while the two of you draw but its nothing new

exchanging your drawings goes without a hitch, and hes sitting there looking at your paper for a long moment... he doesnt give much of a reaction... but you do notice him tucking the paper into one of his pockets

he doesnt care if you keep his drawing or not, however you sometimes find him looking at his art if you display it somewhere

BUBBA

hes not very good at drawing, he never really gets the time to sit down and doodle- on top of that he doesnt know what to draw most of time, when he does have the time and thought to try!

loves anything you make, you dont have to be a good artist either, hes going to take in every little detail of the art

is this how you see him?

if youve added additional stuff such as sparkles or hearts, hes going to be staring even longer... thats so sweet, you like like him?

of course he already knew you did, youre both dating but seeing stuff like that in passing always feels nice

very protective of the drawing out of fear that his brothers may tamper or destroy it- at best they (namely nubbins and choptop) may tease him

THOMAS

like his original counterpart, thomas doesnt draw all that often so he hasnt built up the skill... but that doesnt mean he isnt going to try to draw you how he sees you when you sit him down to do this activity with him

takes a long time to get all the details right, doesnt want to make you look off or worse, offend you if he messes something up

you can draw him with or without his mask, but its clear that you put care into the drawing, regardless of skill

loves it so much, hangs it on the wall in the basement so he can look at it while hes working... its like a little motivational thing for him! he protects his family, and youre part of it.. he does this for you!

a little hesitant to give you his drawing, but lightens up at your delight for how he portrayed you

[craske]

HI

UH

I AM VERY CURIOUS ON WHAT THE HELL IS SHADOW MILK'S BEHAVIOUR AND INTERACTION WITH THE ANCIENTS AFTER GETTING HIS SOUL JAM STOLEN

DOES HE TRIES TO LIKE, GET IT BACK OR SOMETHING?

ALSO LOVE SO MUCH HOW YOU DRAW HIMM

HI THANK YOU SM IM HAPPY YOU LIKE IT 🥺

yapfest incoming

the interactions are very uh. complicated. as you can probably imagine. considering thats the fucking Beast that not only was tormenting Pure Vanilla and White Lily but also killed Elder Fairy and devastated the Faerie kingdom. so things are a little, itty bitty slightly tense between him and literally everyone

if they could theyd leave him there for dead but thatd be really irresponsible so what else was there to do than to apprehend the still big (literally) threat. for quite a while tho he is just trying to adjust to not being this all powerful force (meaning hes being a miserable wet thing with a very bad migraine) (dont worry it doesnt stop him from brewing plots)

bc a very large portion of his powers is gone, he isnt really that dangerous anymore (but also he isnt neutralized). and since all of this is a speculation because we currently have No Idea what will happen in the future of the Beast Yeast arc, i like to believe the beast yeast expeditions retreated back to Crispia and Shadow Milk is being held as a prisoner. under constant supervision of couse, cant have the clown start doing his clownery again

since im a biiig sucker for antagonists turned begrudging ally (or an actual ally as time goes on), he turns out to be a good source of intel, plus provides some surprisingly important insight. yeah they all hate eachother and hold massive grudges (esp in case of the two doomed lovebirds) but they have a common enemy. and shadow milk wants his powers back.

but.... wouldnt it be funny if the lack of overwhelming almost limitless power had an effect on his (and by that extent, other beasts) mind? if that force didnt push and pull and mold and break down and put it back together? and maybe something started to change, or in fact revert?

well who knows! imagine that happening lol

[jeridandridge]

For Lovers At Night part 2

Melissa tells Barb about her new budding relationship. Pt 1

The rest of that Saturday night went well for Melissa. When she got home she took a long shower and tried to tone down her total heart eye as she gets ready for bed. Getting settled she holds her phone daring to send a goodnight text as she lays in her bed next to a sleeping Joe which had become a rare occurrence.

Thank you for another great night, hon. I hope I can see you soon.

Putting her phone on do not disturb she sets it on the night stand rolling over to her side with a giddy smile on her lips.

Melissa wakes alone the following morning. The weather outside is dull and grey, making her want to stay curled up under the covers. Stretching out with a sigh she picks her phone up ready to see if she has anything from Barb about their brunch plans. Instead, she sees a text from the woman she’s found herself thinking about more often than not.

Believe me the pleasure was all mine, gorgeous. Maybe we can meet up for a coffee sometime this week if your schedule lets you. Let me know 😊

And that’s how Melissa ends up walking around the house with a cheek aching smile on her face. So much so that when she shows up to brunch with Barb, the older woman beams at her friend.

“Look at you, girl! What’s got you smiling like that?” She asks hugging her friend before they sit at the table.

“What? I can’t smile?” Melissa chuckles setting her purse down.

“I haven’t seen you smile like that in a long long time.”

Melissa let Barbara into her life a year into her career at Abbott, and she hasn’t looked back since. She knew Barb was a woman of faith, but also knew that she would never condemn her for being happy.

Resting her hand on the table, Melissa tries to bite back a smile. That attempt fails.

“I met someone that’s makin me think a lot.”

“Oh Melissa, it’s wonderful to have a new friend.” Barbara pats her hand.

“It’s already more than that, Barb.” Melissa admits. “It’s- I dunno i feel like a high school kid with a crush.”

“Well, I’m not telling you what to do, but knowing you and your husband? Be smart and do what makes you happy.”

Melissa looks at her best friend with a hopeful smile, touched that she wasn’t judged for her admission. Barb asks for more details about this mystery person and eventually, Melissa sees a familiar face coming towards their table. She sits up a little straighter, a small smile spreading on her lips.

“Melissa,” you smile walking over to the table.

“Hi, hon. I was just talking about you.”

“Uh oh, that’s rarely a good thing.” You tease. “I don’t want to interrupt your lunch, I just wanted to say hi.”

“You’re not interrupting anything, sweetheart. I’m Barbara Howard.” The woman offers you a kind handshake.

“It’s great to meet you Mrs. Howard.” You smile shaking her hand. “I’m picking up an order for the guys at the bar, I’ll catch up with you later?” You meet Melissa’s eyes.

“You bet, hon.”

Walking away you move with a pep in your step not knowing about the conversation that’s going to take place. Barbara keeps her eyes on her friend with an agape mouth. “Girl,” she draws out, “that woman likes you. And she’s very pretty.”

Melissa sips her mimosa trying to hide her smile. “She is, isnt she?”

“Does she know your situation?” Barb asks quietly. That’s when Melissa looks down at the table feeling the catholic guilt that’s been engrained in her since she was a child.

“I told her I was divorced.” She admits.

Barbara gives Melissa a look that makes her feel like she’s in trouble with her mother again.

“Sweetheart if you like her don’t you think it’s best to start off with the truth?”

Melissa sits back knowing it was wrong of her to lie about it. She’d wanted a divorce for years, not pulling the trigger on the idea because she knew it would kill her mother. So she put up with the cheating and living with a man that was nothing more than a roommate.

“I’ll tell her when the times right, Barb. I will.”

Back at the bar you and your coworker, Jacob, hangout in the back on a lunch break. As your friend goes on about his finals for his degree you sit back with your legs on your desk, food container in your lap.

“Jacob you’re gonna get hiccups if you take in any more air.” You chuckle.

“Sorry! I’m really nervous is all.” He all but whines. “I have to pass these courses then I get to do teachers without boarders finally.”

You smile playfully tossing a balled up napkin at him. “You’re gonna be a great teacher, Hill. Trust me.”

“Maybe your girlfriend could get me a job.” He smirks.

“Oh my god,” you laugh. “We’re literally building a friendship for right now.” You reason trying not to give away your already budding feelings for the mysterious woman. When your phone buzzes you can’t stop the grin spreading across your face.

“Oh.my.god. I see literal heart eyes. That must be her.”

Sure enough, on your screen you see a text from the redhead.

It was nice seeing you today, hon. How about that coffee tomorrow? I know this really nice bookshop. You might know it.

Grinning like an idiot you send her a text back.

I might know which one you’re talking about. When you get here park around the back.

Setting the phone down you look up finally snapping out of it.

“Don’t look at me like that, Hill.”

Sure enough Jacob was right and it annoys you that he is. The next day you walk around your apartment with a ridiculous smile on your lips as you clean, the nervous excitement running through you has you practically dancing across the clean floor. The idea of bringing Melissa up to your apartment was easy, it was right above the shop and bar anyway, and maybe just maybe it would allow you to get closer to the woman.

Being closed on Sundays and Mondays were usually a good thing, but now you find yourself doing busy work to get through the day until Melissa comes over after work. Making sure the floors are clean, you dust your own book shelves and re stack your records before looking around the sitting area, which really was just a big open room with a kitchen and a divider wall in front of your bedroom furniture.

Hours later when you hear the buzzer, you jump up and check your hair in the mirror, wearing it down when you’re not in the bar, this’ll be the first time Melissa sees you more comfortable.

“Hey! Cmon up.” You say into the speaker, pressing the buzzer down to let the woman in.

Melissa hops up the single flight of stairs,smiling when she sees you in the hallway. “You have a long commute to work.” She jokes.

“Oh it’s awful,” you beam stepping forward with your arms open for a hug. Melissa is a little surprised, not really showing affection to people outside of her family but she finds herself gravitating the young woman wrapping her arm around her shoulders in a little squeeze, one that feels warm and inviting.

“Ive got the coffee going already, are you hungry? I thought maybe we could order food.” You shrug casually.

“That sounds great, hon.” Melissa smiles following you into the cozy living space. “Wow, I didn’t know this was so open up here.”

“I tried to make it cozy.” You chuckle pouring two cups. “How was work?”

Melissa sets her purse down on one of the small dining table chairs, looking up at you surprised. “It was a great day actually. The kids did this project I’ve never done before, we read Peter rabbit then they decorated little plates like bunnies.” She beams talking about her kids.

You can’t help but smile as she shares how her day was, eventually moving to sit on your couch with your hot mugs in hand.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been talking and talking.” Melissa chuckles nervously following you. Joe never wanted to hear about her days at work or anything about the kids, he was always rushing out every time she tried to share something with him.

“No no!” You chuckle tucking your feet under you, “keep going, seeing you talk about your kids is adorable. So is bunny art.” Truth be told you found her laugh so warm and invigorating, it made your stomach jump in the best way.

Melissa tucks a strand of wavy hair behind her ear smiling at the young woman. “I don’t always talk about work, but they were too cute.”

“You can talk about whatever you want. I’m a good listener.” You smile sipping your coffee.

Sitting back Melissa realizes that this has been easy from the start. Having a casual conversation and feeling comfortable was easy with you.

“I have a very serious question for you, hon.”

“I might have an answer for you, Mel.” You mirror her energy with an amused smile.

“Do you like the Eagles?”

“Yes I do.” You laugh with a nod. “I don’t fully understand football, but I like it. My brother is a big football guy.”

“A brother huh? Younger or older?” Melissa beams.

“Four years older. I was a pain in his ass. What about you, any siblings?”

Melissa nods leaning forward to rest her mug on the coffee table, her shirt coming down exposing a nice amount of cleavage you have to look away from.

“I have a little sister and a baby brother. But he’s on thin ice because he keeps backing the Jets.”

“Not the Jets.” You scrunch your nose, “see I might not fully get the game but at least I’m loyal.”

“A woman after my own heart.” Melissa chuckles watching you play with the handle of your mug.

There’s that sound again.

“You’ll know when I go for that.” You smile, meeting her pretty eyes. You didn’t know what her full story was, but you wanted to find out and if that was friendly or romantic was up to Melissa.

Melissa meets your eyes, a shy smile spreading on her own face. She felt like she’d known you forever, a comfortably settling over you two with ease.

“You’re so suave, you don’t get nervous do ya?”

“You make me a little nervous,” you shrug. “But in an exciting ‘what am I going to say to keep her attention?’ way.”

It’d been so long since Melissa felt like someone was interested in her it felt almost foreign.

“Don’t be nervous, hon. If it makes you feel any better I uh, I felt I was back in high school when I was texting ya.”

“Oh yeah? “I’m happy to have made you feel like that. You’re a special person, Mel. I know meeting someone new after a breakup can be scary, but I feel very grateful you let me in like you have.” You tell her as casually as you can.

Melissa looks at the younger woman, nothing but sincerity in her eyes.

“That got way more serious than I wanted it to be,” you laugh hiding your face in your hand.

“Oh cmon!” Melissa laughs leaning over, gently taking your wrist in her hand to remove it from your face. “I’m around second graders all day having a conversation like this is great.” She gives you a soft smile.

Taking her hand in yours you lean forward just enough to enter her personal space just a bit. “You have a gorgeous smile.”

“You’re a charmer, hon.”

“I always mean what I say.” You tell her quietly. The feeling of her hand in yours gives you the same bubbly feeling it gave you at the bar the other night.

“I’m starting to see that. I think I learn somethin new about you every time I see you.”

“Yeah? What have you learned about me?” You smile back feeling a teasing steak hit you.

“You’re incredibly smart, helpful,” she hums gently squeezing your hand, “and you’re incredibly cute when you talk about something you like, like that book.”

“It’s a good book. Like I said, a woman finding herself is a beautiful thing. But if we get into that we’ll be here all night” You grin leaning a little closer.

“I can’t stay late tonight.” Melissa whispers eyeing your lips. Despite how much she wants to, she really did only come for a coffee.

“That’s okay. I know you have to teach the rugrats in the morning. Cell phones are a beautiful invention, that’ll hold us over until I can see you again.” You chuckle.

“Barb already teases me when she sees me smiling at my phone.”

“I guess the leather jacket and killer eyeliner don’t work when you look adorable and mushy looking at a phone huh?” You tease.

Melissa playfully rolls her eyes moving to stand up. “I’m not mushy now walk me out.”

“Yes, Ms.-“ you stop short as you stand up. “I was going to make a teacher joke but I don’t know your last name.” You chuckle.

Once again, Melissa’s brain short circuits. She’s not joes wife here. No, here she’s herself. “Schemmenti.”

“Very Italian.” You smile not bothering to let go of her hand as you walk her out, down the stairs to her truck.

Outside Melissa unlocks the truck still holding the younger woman’s hand.

“Can I tell you something, hon?” She whispers inching closer.

You meet jade eyes once again, butterflies hitting you just as they always do when you’re with Melissa. “Of course you can.” You say quietly, eyes flicking down to glossy lips for a moment.

But Melissa doesn’t say anything. Closing the space between the two of you she rests her hand on your cheek meeting your lips in a soft kiss. When you register what’s happening your arms slips around her waist, tongue licking at her lower lip to deepen the kiss. It feels like a magnetic pull has taken over your body as you stand there outside in the dusk, arms wrapped around her warm, curvy frame.

Melissa pulls away first, pecking your lips once more for good measure.

“For the record, I’m not scared.”

Next chapter

[sticks-stones-sonic-insanity]

I JUST FINISHED SONK ADVENTURE 2 IM NOT OKAY OMG

The scene with Shadow falling to earth was funny at first and it all happened so fast i was still trying to wrap my head around it. Ppl talk about that scene a lot which theyre so right for, but i need to talk about the scenes after because oh my god they broke me!?!??!

Sonic, coming back onto the ark, completely silent. Everyone asking if Shadow made it back and he just slowly shakes his head without a word.

The scene where Sonic gives Rouge Shadow's inhibitior ring hold so much more weight to me after actually playing the game: In the short time they knew each other, Shadow saved Rouge's life. Twice. This is the only possession she has to remember him by. Knuckles asks her what shes going to do now and she actually stops to reflect and remarks how shes thinking of changing jobs, something else on her mind now(What exactly shes referring to in this moment isnt stated but theres a fair few connections to draw there). After almost getting killed during a heist and never getting a chance to thank the guy who saved her from it, that's a pretty good and strangely mature call to make from a writing standpoint. This whole scene has a similar feeling like that, like the jokes and the extravagance thats typical of the cutscenes have really been toned down with intention.

This one genuinely shocked me, and im really surprised i havent come across anything about it yet because the scene between Eggman and Tails was actually super deep?? There are a lot of different Sonic medias as far as I im aware that have touched on the paralells between Eggman and Tails: their small similarities and how well they work together when they have to, but the scene here really stuck out to me. Eggman is talking about how much he admired his grandfather as a child, how much his work inspired him to learn and create and strive to be great like him, drifting off to question whether or not he really wanted to see them all fall. Tail's response is very chipper and optimistic, but i really like the idea of Eggman having almost this turning point here, having to face something so saddening as watching someone you love curse the world and everyone on it(including you). After arguably some of the most dangerous and threatening feats have been accomplished by Eggman in this game as the story's primary antagonist, is this moment a nod to him maybe stopping to think about what he's done? Im amazed by how much meaning can be taken from these few seconds of dialogue!!

Finally, the last two moments. Amy, despite having had her own short heart to heart with Shadow before the final battle and ultimately being the one to spurr Shadow on to fight alongside Sonic and the others, doesn't seem as upset by Shadows death as Sonic is. This is genuinely, in my limited knowledge of Sonic media, one of the only instances i have seen Sonic be thoroughly shaken up by something and brushed it off when someone asks him whats wrong. In most cases, he's just relatively unfazed from an emotional standpoint like that, so theres nothing to brush off in the first place. But here, the ever-yapping blue blur remains silent for a while, just staring at Earth in a similar paralell to how Shadow used to. It isn't until Amy comes by that he looks away. Its the really subtle details here that get me: Sonic doesn't look or respond to her right away. There's a prominent pause of silence before he turns to her and says its nothing, switching the topic immediately to rush her along. Sonic, typically impatient and eager to move to the next adventure, slows down and is the last to leave the deck, delivers the farewell line to end the game. Again, the contrast in how slowly and soft he speaks here in comparison to literally anything else he says in the game is insane. The pause between "Shadow" and "the Hedgehog" is still very funny to me and im not lost on how the delivery does end up being chopped up quite goofy like that, but if that isnt an absolutely insane way to end off the game with such a somber, emotional moment...

Sonadow or no sonadow, take it as you will, its undeniable how impactful this adventure in particular is to Sonic. How much Shadow meant to him by the end of the game. How much his sacrifice meant. I really see his discussion with Rouge as both a way to comfort her, and to comfort himself. To say out loud how heroic and brave he'd seen Shadow to be, regardless of the intention that came from his creation. Sonic is big on freedom and giving people the opportunity to live how they want to, and Shadow's sacrifice in that regard means even more to him. He had just come to understand what he had truly promised Maria he'd do, joined Sonic whole-heartedly to help save the planet, and never got to experience anything beyond that. Given Eggmans continuous antangonistic streak at that point (I'm not fully aware of the other villain's Sonic had faced up until that point), it's rare that Sonic actually gets to see someone who opposed him change for the better!! And not only was Shadow one of the first to do so, but he was a speedy teen hedgehog!!! Just like Sonic himself!!! Its like Shadow said, there was so much more to them that they never got to find out about each other!! The fact that Shadow gave up all of that possibility, all of his own personal freedom to help Sonic save the planet and the freedom of all the people on it? That hits. HARD.

Im not familiar with the full canon of how Sonic actually managed to get one of Shadow's inhibitior rings to give to Rouge, as he's actually not shown in any scene taking them off during the final battle(i actually dont even think their mechanics are properly explained which is more confusing but yk), but getting into more headcanony, sonadow adjacent space for a second? I like to think Shadow actually took two of his rings off/had two break off before he fell. Sonic gave one to Rouge, and secretly kept the other for himself. He obviously didn't want his friends to ask him more questions about how he was feeling, so he hid it in his quills before he greeted them back on the ark. Shadow ended up meaning a lot to Sonic, and it's really interesting to think about what was running through Sonic's mind when all was said and done.

Uhhh anyways good game very very infuriating at times but very good game i have a true taste for the appeal of Sonic games now and i want to play them all. If you actually made it this far, thank you for reading my silly sonk rant! If you have any information you know of to patch the spaces where I'm lacking or just want to discuss your own thoughts on the ending feel free!! Have a good day or night wherever you are :]

[megoomy]

got a request for my vesperia berseria au designs and i do have character sheets for them so: everyone is free to draw these if they want! credit is nice but, well, these all heavily reference official tales designs so i dont want to take too much credit for them lol. you can also write about the au and take any amount of what we've come up with, i really don't care, it's all for fun.

UNDER THE CUT: a vague summary of the concept. warning for Profound Self Indulgence and Somewhat Half-Assed Worldbuilding (world...changing? world editing? whatever)

okay basically flynn and yuri met as kids in a village that basically serves as the lower quarter of the au, but after spending a few years together daemons attack the village and nearly everyone dies. yuri survives, but in the process he’s become a daemon. flynn also survives, but is deeply traumatized and gets picked up by the exorcists (conveniently too late to save anyone in typical form). neither knows the other survived. to make matters worse, flynns trauma causes some memory loss…he still definitely remembers that time in the village but its very fuzzy now and as he gets older that only gets worse. and like he thinks all those people died so hes not really trying to remember them.

flynn becomes an exorcist (some flavor of legate) and is going around eradicating daemons when he runs into yuri. he doesnt recognize yuri but yuri is pretty sure he recognizes flynn. but yuri isnt about to say that when flynn is trying to kill him LOL. the general arc is that yuri keeps slipping away and flynn keeps seeing more about him in his efforts to hunt him down, realizing that this strikingly handsome strangely familiar daemon is actually...very kind? takes care of children? helps people for no gain? and this calls into question everything that he thought he understood about the world which is quite troubling.

you can think of them as similar to velvet and eleanor. but I think when flynn joins yuri it's by choice, not because yuri's forced him to be a vessel or because flynn's a spy or anything like that. or at least, he's been thrown out by the abbey for one reason or another and joins yuri instead. (we've tossed around quite a few versions of this. we love playing in the space.)

we've bounced around ideas about the rest of the cast but i only have a sheet for estelle, who is a malak controlled by the abbey ala phi. assigned to flynn, ends up with yuri one way or another. i think rita sees that malaks are people and while she wants to coordinate with them to use their strength she doesn't like how they're treated as tools (the way she feels about blastia more or less).

if you're curious about why flynn and yuri have different fates, like, in terms of lore compliance. i think yuri seeing the thing he holds most dear, the community that cared for him, destroyed in an instant, would probably fill him with malevolence no matter what, especially depending on the circumstances. (like, if the abbey was manipulating things to create daemons or therions) yuri's like...a deeply conflicted character full of self loathing, so, being a daemon really suits him. i think that malevolence would only grow as he sees the world and the abbey for what it really is. unlike someone like rose, yuri NEVER feels unconflicted about Doing Murders.

flynn in canon is pretty conflicted himself of course but i see him as similar to eleanor who can sometimes produce malevolence but has a certain purity of heart that keeps them as pretty good vessel material. nowhere near someone like sorey or rose, and definitely wouldn't have had enough resonance pre-artorius' plot to see anything. also i think the brain trauma and being picked up by the abbey leads to him having very clear purpose and a black and white view for some time, so that helps. (look, let me be real with you, half of the impetus for this au was "it would be funny if flynn had like, religious trauma")

design notes not on the sheets: - yuri's daemonblighted skin is cooler to the touch than his regular skin. but he's a guy with cold hands regardless - i've got purple highlights in his eyes but i think of them as glinting purple in the light. like an animal i guess? - yuri's outfit is mostly inspired by his spirit gear in rays, aside from his normal game canon outfit. - estelle is pulling from a lot of different abbey associated characters but mostly her own design...i didn't want to give her something weird like A FUCKING COLLAR especially bc she's not given to A WEIRDO EXORCIST but i wanted some kind of symbol of captivity so i went instead for a golden mask. pulling from the common malak's gold mask/helmets and seres' mask. in canon a lot of estelle's arc is about being sheltered so i feel like covering her eyes feels, appropriate? idk. - i think yuri still gives estelle her nickname but she wouldn't start out as estellise so its more like yuri gives her a name - you may notice she has the flame of purification (does that have a different proper name? blanking on it) which kind of implies that she's connected to innominat. please don't ask me to elaborate on that point because i literally don't know yet. i think if i were to make her a normal elementally aligned malak she'd be water like her spirit gear in rays, but it feels like she should be Special just like how she's a child of the full moon in canon. we just, haven't really figured out, does the berseria cast still exist, are we replacing them, what would that look like, etc. sorry that stuff should be more important to the concept but we are simply playing with the dolls. teehee

[evereverest2]

Little Monster Q&A + author fun facts !!

hello new followers and fans of Little Monster. first of all, i just have to thank everyone for the crazy support ive been getting as of late. thank you everyone. every like, comment, and reblog just pushes me to keep writing, even when it feels like every word i write is garbage.

so i decided to make this little special! idk if anyone will be super interested, so ill put all the stuff under the cut, but i also wanted to add this little drawing i did of terzomega as like extra content. if you arent interested, thanks anyway and enjoy the art!

—

to everyone who stayed, i have no idea why you’re interested, but thanks lmfao. this shit will be long.

Questions

Is your most recent oneshot about the mirror related at all to Little Monster? (from @ofthemorningstars)

i'm glad you noticed that !! in The Mirror, i very purposefully left two hints at the end of the fic to indicate its connection to Little Monster, which was the taco ring reference and Terzo's use of "mostriciatto". to me, mostriciatto will always be the Little Monster version of terzomega. no matter when i finish that fic or if i write more fics after, i will never again use mostriciatto unless im purposefully writing these versions of terzomega. i havent seen anyone else use it (i hope they dont), so i like to imagine this can be forever my impact on terzomega fics lmao. anyway, the purpose of me leaving those references isnt necessarily to say, "this is a future scene of little monster" bc it isnt exactly that (while i have plans that line up with this oneshot, i cannot anticipate that everything will fit perfectly by the time we get there in the canon). the purpose of doing that was to show u cuties that yes, terzo and omega will eventually have a better relationship, and i will be extending this timeline into papa terzo era. just a fun little teaser for my more observant fans.

also, fun fact about how i came up with that pet name. i was writing the first part of Little Monster (that part is now titled Spilled Wine as featured on my Ao3) and i knew i wanted to give terzo an affinity for using pet names, but i didn't know quite which ones to use. i didn't want to be boring, so i googled some. i have no idea where, but i found mostriciatto, meaning, of course, "little monster." i had yet to even really start writing it, but i knew i wanted it to be DARK with a very unhinged omega, so i thought, perfect. ill talk a bit more about the writing of part one later on

2. How many parts do you currently anticipate writing? Do you have a set ending point, or will this perhaps be an ongoing project for the foreseeable future? (from @ofthemorningstars)

i have 12 major plot points (including the first five parts i have written) that loosely translate into parts. this could mean 12 parts, or it could be more depending on what i write. i kinda plan on expanding this to 18 (6 parts per “era” or “act” [you’ll see what i mean]) though i dont quite have a set ending yet, so really its up in the air. i am, however, planning on having a definitive ending, ergo not an endless project. from there there may be some oneshots in this universe, but they will have an ending.

3. In the first part of little monster you put a disclaimer with something along the lines of "if you're expecting comfort I'm sorry to disappoint". The angst is MWAH but do you like plan on giving Terzo like any sort of comfort or happiness?? (from anon)

before i begin rambling, here's your answer: there will be hope and good times as mentioned above, and you might have even picked up on that in part 5. i may have wrote a fucked up versions of terzomega but whats a good story without character growth?? i havent determined the direction of the ending, but rest assured, if it all burns down, they will hold each other close (for the minute it takes).

but also.... funny story about that disclaimer....

soo i wanted to write ghost fanfic to impress my friend who is a VERY avid member of this community. however, i failed to realize they DO NOT like angst without love and care and fluff, so after i showed it to them, buddy did not like it. i took that as a sign that maybe this shit was a little TOO dark.

but my god, i could not stop thinking about it, as the caption said, and i dont always feel that away about what i write. i had recently started to post semi often to tumblr, and i just thought. well, theres gotta be someone else as fucked up as me, and i posted that shit. that disclaimer was a result of taking my friends reaction seriously and realizing that i needed to make it VERY clear that this fic is NOT for everyone. there was a different og caption that was longer and more grave, but i cut it down for aesthetics bc little monster has already seen more success than i ever anticipated.

4. What is your favorite ghost album, and what song introduced you to ghost? (from anon) & Favorite ghost song (or songs) (from @ask-enso-ghoul)

my favorite album is Infestissumam!!! the vibes of the album are so fucking immaculate, even if terzo is my favorite papa.

of course, of course, the first song i ever heard from ghost was Mary on a Cross. it blew up when it did and i loved it. the second song that really made me start getting into ghsot was square hammer, which will secretly also be my favorite ghost song but ive heard it so many times i have to give it now to the future is a foreign land. some of my other fave songs are jigolo, respite, body and blood, faith, twenties, and year zero (there’s just so many)

i want to take a second to say my least favorite album though, which is opus eponymous, or as i call it, pope pussy. it’s ok. it’s just ok. mk. i’m not a fan of that sound. the best song on there is genesis. I FUCKING SAID IT—

5. how do you get into the zone of writing smut-? I’m trying to get into it but it sounds cheesy when I do, so do you do something specific? (from anon)

im gonna level with you. i have been writing for almost a decade, since i was 12, and the first thing i started writing was smut. sex has always been a HUGE creative force for my writing and art in general. as stupid as it sounds, writing smut to me is more than just that. its my art. its my greatest and most inspirational subject. i love being creative with it, bending it to the niches and intricacies of the duo im writing, just playing with it as a medium of expression, of storytelling, of how DEEP it can be.

that being said, one of the easiest ways to get into the zone of smut specifically is being horny ! you imagine your pairing doing some illicit bedroom activity and you pick them up liek dolls and smush their faces together ! let it be fun, and let it be yours. dont write it to please the kinks of your audience, write it to your own taste and enjoyment.

as far as it being cheesy, yeah, it will feel that way. the most important thing is to be confident with your language and don’t shy away from calling a dick a dick, a pussy a pussy, an ass an ass. it feels stupid, but it will read worse if you make up artsy names for them every other line. don’t be afraid to be descriptive either, because that’s what the people want to see, trust me.

apologies if that was unhelpful, ive just been writing smut so long i can hardly tell you how i do it. im jsut super passionate about it and it fuels me creatively….. can u tell lol

6. Favorite work you’ve ever done? (from anon)

so.... ive written many things and that depends. its definitely not anything ive posted on here.

i think my favorite "serious" work is a short story i wrote for a creative writing class, called Abel and Sally. it was an modern inversion of the bible story of abraham and sarah, with a really dark ending (i love to shit on catholicism)

the other work that comes to mind is the first story i wrote about my oc anson, called Anson's Prison. that is something i would potentially post on here, its pretty short but its a good one. its oc content, tho, so i doubt many ppl would be interested lel.

8. will you draw more drawing for your stories in the future? (from anon)

well. heres my thing with art.

ive been drawing as long as ive been writing. but im not an artist; i never learned ANYTHING beyond like drawing itself, i.e. i dont know how to shade, pick colors, do bgs, etc. (can u tell??? do u see that art up there???? can YOU TELL??) thus, i have a sort of love hate relationship with drawing, and i usually dont like my own stuff. i didnt pick up drawing as easy as i did writing and its not nearly as intuitive to me.

that being said, it is sometimes fun when the drawings turn out just right and i get super passionate about something i draw and i can create the image in my head. so if the mood strikes me, i probably will draw more terzomega stuff in the future.

but why do i need to?? feeds you all SO WELL with little monster stuff you dont need my shitty art lmfao

9. MILK OR CEREAL FIRST? (from anon)

cereal. bc the moment the milk hits that cereal u are on a speedy ass countdown to devour that shit before it gets soggy, and brother, u better eat quick.

Things I wanted to share

Little Monster was supposed to be a one shot

so, Little Monster started as one thing and turned to something else entirely. originally, i wrote the beginning of the first chapter (where they are flirting in the church) in about april of this year. in this version, they were supposed to already be in love, though hiding it, and terzo was not drunk at all, just teasing. i eventually scrapped it because i wasnt very passionate about it and got p bored. then, in july, i had the itch to write something dark, but none of my projects at the time had characters i could really write that with. i came back to that scrapped fic and i thought, damn, i could really fuck these guys up, and i did.

little monster immediately became more successful than i thought it would be, and that was only about 10 notes and a comment in. i was happy to leave it at that, but then, i just started writing part two on a whim. if you look at the og post in the comments, i mention that im writing a "follow up". thats bc even when writing part two, this was not going to be a series !! but then, as i kept writing, part two became so long i had to split it in half, meaning there were suddenly 3. by the time i posted part three, though, i was shocked at the sheer amount of attention i was getting. at the same time, part three ended in such a way that i knew this story needed to keep going, to give these two a resolution. now, little monster will be a full fledged story thanks to all the support ive received :3

2. im an english major

yeah, you got me, im a college student majoring in english creative writing. is it obvious? my penultimate goal is to one day be a published author. it’s crazy surreal to me how much people express to me how they enjoy my writing~~ i hope i can one day make my dream come true 🥰 the unfortunate part about this is i go back to college next week and im uncertain how that will affect my writing schedule :p i’ll stick to weekly uploads for little monster tho dw !!

3. this is the first time i’ve written fanfic in several years

when i first started writing it was frerard and peterick fanfics on wattpad in middle school (huge shoutout to the ones that know lmfao). i stopped writing those before hs and haven’t written fanfic since. i think it’s very funny that i have come full circle back to writing band fanfic, altho ghost ofc is way more intricate with its canon

4. I LOVE YOU GUYS

i know i’ve said it a dozen times already on this post, but god it’s crazy. it’s nuts !! i’ve already made a handful of super sweet mutuals who i appreciate with all my heart, and even if you’re just a lurker, I STILL APPRECIATE YOU. EVERY SINGLE NOTE MAKES ME SO HAPPY. EVERY COMMENT AND RB HAS ME BURSTING WITH JOY.

it is entirely thanks to you all that i write terzomega and ive become so passionate about it. if it weren’t for your support, i would probably still be writing my silly little stories that no one but me could possibly understand, rotting away and wondering if anyone would even like my writing. terzo and omega are such a unique pairing compared to what ive written before, and writing them is a really cool feeling. i truly love it, and i hope i can continue to feed this side of the fandom for a long time.

from the bottom of my heart and with all my writing soul, thank you. i want to keep writing for u guys, and i want to satiate ur dirty terzomega fantasies >:) this is such a sweet and inclusive fandom and im glad i’ve been welcomed in so quickly. i hope i can continue to grow my talent here :3

ok that’s it bye teehee

[callsign-relic]

cityspeaker Ultra Magnus/Minimus.... yesssssss!!!!!! that'd be so so good in a post-IDW au... my heartttttt

or!! OR... ppppost? war? au?? maybe even no war au. anyway an AU where Megatron and Minimus have never met before. Megatron has had several cityspeakers in the past before but none interact with him like Minimus does. None have bothered to speak with him more than necessary, if at all. wardens very rarely need to speak to their prisoners.

Minimus comes along and just... quietly greets him the first day. for such a simple act, it sure draws Megatron's attention.

i think this would be particularly fun in a version of the AU where Megatron IS inhabited (be it in root mode or city mode. TF please give us more cityformer continuing to have ppl living on them in root mode. please please pleasr) because what better way to pay your dues than being of Literal Service to the people? Ultra Magnus gets hired on as cityspeaker/enforcer (what better way to enforce the law than having optics and audials everywhere as part of the living city...) because they are hoping that with him being a stickler for the rules, it will help keep Megatron in line. except instead of doing his job as intended, Minimus ends up befriending Megatron and making the city better for those living there.

wait silly thought for a second- Minimus walking around and taking notes of all the unsafe places around the city/Megatron. there needs to be a guard rail here. this lighting isnt up to code. those overhead pipes are a safety hazard. these stairs are too steep, regulations state that each step must be so tall, and so on. Megatron fixes them by the next day.

anyway cue dramatic chase scene where Megs gets to shift around Minimus as he's getting chased down by the other enforcers. if you want to be particularly poetic about it, he might even use the safety regulations against the oncoming pursuers (whoops there went that guard rail. totally forgot about it. those stairs? Minimus or Ultra Magnus sized now. he can get up them easily.)

hhrhghgrh them. they. augh. i need to write another ask. <- (trying desperately* to convince myself that no i don't need to write a fic or draw something based on the titan au!!! i don't!!!!!!)

*trying desperately and failing. adds it to my list. someone write smth for this so i dont have to hhrhhghgdh my list of projects is too long

- initiate

IM GOING CRAZY IM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYY (positively)

It’s official. Titan au is my newest brainrot 👍 I encourage any and all asks pls I’m going insane the voices the brainworms the auahgauahaha

All of these ideas are genuinely so good I love them so much holy shit. Oh my god the part about different structures not being up to code in particular… what came to mind for me is Megatron having been carrying out his penance for so long and being so wrought with the guilt he failed to take care of himself as well, his internals a dilapidated city. Meanwhile Minimus is just very matter-of-factly going around assigning OSHA violations to everything he sees and…

…Megatron finds he doesn’t feel apathetic towards it.

Perhaps Minimus was right… it would be nice if his citizens had guard rails. Oh, those stairs were in poor shape, and it would only take him a second to clean them up…

Just. Minimus helping Megatron both literally and metaphorically pick up the pieces of himself after showing he cares for him

Also oh my god the shifting the environment around to help Minimus escape? Insane. I’m in love with it. Even better if Megatron never really let Minimus close to any of his more sensitive spaces before, only to lead him right to his spark chamber and seal off any exit to ensure Minimus’ safety. Right there, in the place Megatron never allowed anyone near, he knew Minimus would be safe.

Also PLEASEEEE PLEASSEEE send more asks or make art or write fic!!!!!!!!!!! It would genuinely make me so happy 😭😭😭 ough speaking of art I’m already imagining titan!Megs’ design… imagine him having big cuffs on his wrists and ankles or anywhere else they might fit really to symbolize his imprisonment in his punishment. And his imprisonment in his own guilt. Perhaps chains as well idk

I am just brainrotting severely so PLEASE keep talking about this to me 🙏🙏🙏

[bunnys-lil-hideout]

hi this is basically my part 2 of my post about being a small selfship blog

that post was met with a good amount of small blogs being happy about what i had written, meanwhile there was a handful of blogs that still expressed being upset that they were so small despite the work they'd put into their stuff.

i should preface by saying, even though i've had posts get over 300+ notes, and i have over 100+ followers, im really not a big blog, and i do seriously mean that.

yes, my posts about selfship scenarios and positivity do get a good amount of notes, and lots of the tags are very positive and fun to read. but if you do look through my blog, you'll notice those are the only posts that get any attention. all my posts about my personal selfships barely get notes, i barely get any asks even when doing ask games, and i've even tried participating in those "reblog with your f/o and i'll assign them this!" posts and i dont think i've ever gotten a reply.

and yeah, the last one at least has bothered me a bit, and i wish i couldve been part of the fun, but i'll be honest— when i made my selfship blog, i literally made it to be my own corner where i can go gushy gooey crazy over my fictional men. and those posts i made about general selfshipping scenarios and such, those were me just throwing ideas at the walls so i had a place to put them and maybe a few people could see it and feel a lil better. i never intend for my stuff to get a lot of attention because honestly, i'm used to it, so my expectations are always extremely low, and i'm rarely ever upset about it not working out.

but i know for some people, that's not the same for them, and that's completely fair. they work hard on what they make, either through writing, through artwork, comics, animation, even just putting down their thoughts. its natural to have that part of you that wants to be seen and appreciated for what you made, even if it is self-indulgent and not a lot of people will relate to it.

and i am sorry to all of you who are in that boat, feeling like what you made isnt good enough because not many noticed it, that you don't have people asking about your f/os or s/is, that anything you made with love isn't getting that same response. i know it's hard, and honestly i wish i knew what i could say that would help you to feel better. but please just know that you're really not alone, and just because you aren't seen doesn't mean you aren't good enough for this community.

honestly the best advice i could try to give is that you still have a corner for where you can freely express your love for the characters that bring you happiness, and even if you don't have much of an audience, i think it's worth remembering that your f/os are your #1 supporters through and through, no matter what type of attention you get. they're happy that you love to talk about them, draw them, gush about them, even if no one sees it. they're happy that you've dedicated a space just about them.

and even if you don't get much notice out of it, please remember that you still deserve a place to feel safe and free.

it's going to be okay. i promise. please take care of yourself. its what your f/os would want, i'm sure.

[tossball-stick]

heyy i saw your latest post about john's aromantic trutherism and i didn't exactly understand what you mean by that... could you explain? i too don't think he is actually in love with abigail if that's what you were saying...?

hiii!!! 1: thank you for asking about this im excited to write and analyze him in this way

2: plsplspls get the idea outta ur head that aromantic people cant love. noooo i couldnt have been misunderstood more. i wanna clarify that i do think john loves abigail. i just dont think that love is all that romantically motivated and ive got a few reasons to believe so.

3: uhhhh uhhh this ended up being like 2.5k words of analysis on john im sorry. no one on tumblr has asked me my thoughts about him before so this is the first time im talking about a lot of the stuff here and theres so much ive thought about johns character and its all messy and intertwined. itll be a little all over the place. i am deeply sorry.

okay. first reason? hes otherwise not much of a romantic. whether he wants to be or not, he falls flat on his face every attempt there is at being romantic with abigail (rarely do we see him be romantic with other women) is usually met with disdain, if there even are many to begin with. its rare to hear john say something pleasant about having a woman, and its rare to ever witness them having a good time together while in the gang. 

...up until the epilogue and john gets his shit together. but by that point i could argue further analysis as to how john isnt wholly himself by that point. hear me out.

john and arthur are two halves of one whole to me. its clear theres some sort of void in john after arthur dies, and he still holds the memory of arthur very very dear. he does his best to keep the memories alive, in fact, in a way to keep arthur alive. 

this starts extending to some kinda interesting parallels, though. writing and drawing in arthurs journal like he did, the hat being placed on johns head, john proposing with marys ring, the phrasing and tone of johns proposal is also shockingly familiar to arthur telling john that itd make him happy if john went to his family... after arthurs death, i find john taking on many of his traits even. he becomes more quiet and closed off, we see it even in rdr2 with arthur telking him to "knock it off with the whole being mysterious thing" or whatever. arthur claims its to act like dutch, but ill do you one better, its clearly just john idolizing his older brother and trying to be like him to be a proper man. this brings me to my next point...

the time period of rdr2!!! yayyy cowboys, the victorian era, Did u know. being a man was something you had to do in previous american and european cultures? this slowly started fading as we roll over into the 20th century, but there was a lot of emphasis placed on performing your role as a man. to be a good man, you must do xyz. otherwise, you are seen as immature, as a boy, as a child. 

throughout the entire series of red dead redemption, both 1 and 2, theres a lot of stuff pointing towards jogns struggle to Be A Man. arthur and dutch frequently refuse to let him grow up, still calling him "little john" and still treating him like hes a rowdy unruly boy that needs to learn better, not a man who should know better. hosea is the only man treating john like hes a man, and even then id say hes fairly lax with the guy. only as the story of rdr2 progresses do we see arthur start to shift his view towards john. not as a boy to stay a boy, because the gang isnt gonna be around forever. john cant keep being a boy. he needs to become a man, take care of his family. 

working off a distinctly gentleman influenced view of masculinity, johns inability to be a man is almost directly tied to his inability to be a proper romantic for his wife. compared to arthur, who is seen taken women on dates and flirting with them just to make them laugh at times. hes dancing with the ladies and helping them up and down the coaches, wagons, and horses. john like. just barely remembers to do that for abi in the epilogue. again, his failings to be a true romantic are tied with his failings as a man. 

in rdr1, this even extends to bill having the bit of dialogue, "you always were a scared little boy!" continuing to imply that john is not a man, hes never been a man. the only reason we can read him as a man Now is because we are going by arthurs definition of manhood. we can extend this further and say bill still views john as a boy because john does not live up to bills expectations of manhood- while arthur may view being a man as something chivalrous, more gentlemanly, bill clearly views masculinity as power and violence, without much to do with women. john does not live up to that, to bill, until the end.

if you read "masculinity" as "being romantic and chivalrous towards women", then, as john fails at being a romantic, he too fails at being a man. there are a lot of other ways john is immature and childish but this is a really easy one to point out if you know the time period and just how much emphasis was placed on both romanticism and manliness, and how they intertwined.

third reasoning for aro john: his family wasnt his for so much of his life. this one is another one that needs a bit of elaboration i fear.

the story of john and abigail getting together is simple enough. she joined the gang at 17 as a sex worker, slept around with some of the gang, then for one reason or another, very clearly believed that the pregnancy was johns. john runs away for a year.

in this time, we dont know a whole lot about what gang life was like without john. however, with arthurs comments about marrying abigail himself and loving her, and his close relationship with jack, i think its pretty clear arthur was the one being a man in johns place. when john left, there was a john shaped hole arthur had to fill. (i also like to think this because the potential misery of arthur having to lose his family a second time once john returns is fun to me.)

even in the story of rdr2, we see john Love and Care For his family, but its never in the same, romantic way arthur seems to involve himself in abi and jacks lives. john will defend them with his life, but when it actually comes to pulling himself up by his bootstraps and being a father or a husband, he kinda just drags his feet and gets lost. he has to be told to reunite with his family at jacks party, despite, in my eyes, his love for jack being very clearly displayed while they were looking for him. 

this is only bolstered by the conclusion of rdr2, with john and arthur on the mountain. arthur, in all his holy parallels, like jesus passing the virgin mary off to john the beloved, arthur tells john it would make him very happy if [john] went to be with his family and left. arthur is passing his family off onto john, the same as jesus passed his family onto saint john. (this one hits harder if you know the rest of the "arthur is jesus" parallels and symbolism but i feel like those would be more impactful as a web weave, and i cant make one right now haha. most obvious one i can think of to support this though is arthur being a scapegoat, dying for the gangs sins.) remember these points they are the most important and will come back later.

reason number four: "but javier-!" shhhhshshsh lemme talk. yes. john is infinitely more intimate with javier than abigail. however, again, we must take the time period into account.

not that far off from many disgusting redpill communities today, back in the 1800s it was typically expected for men to socialize with men and women with women. there was a certain level of bonding you only had with your wife, as well as a certain level of bonding you only had with the men who were close to you. 

i have got to grab this fandom by the shoulders and say rockstar did not make these men as affectionate as they should have been with each other, and thats completely platonically. this is taking romance out of the equation, these men considered each other brothers and family. they were all in a cult together. they would have been very close, and also very affectionate! they would confide in each other and hold each other and cry to each other. they would make gifts for each other and sing and dance together. you can at least see them all pass around beer bottles between each other.

do i think john and javier are closer than most? yes absolutely. do i think javier is in love with john in some way? yes absolutely. do i think its romantic? ehhh maybe. do i think john loves javier? yes absolutely. do i think its romantic? ....noo not really. their whole dynamic reads as one sided through and through to me. even if they ever got together im sure they were quickly apart again, and i doubt the relationship would have been fulfilling in the ways javier would want, leaving him longing still.

the "ive always loved you, even now" immediately funneling into a crate being shoved onto john to knock him over can also be metaphorical- javiers love is disarming to john Because he does not know how to react to it. hes never known how to react to it. hes never known how to react to love from anyone, because "love" seems to feel so much different for everyone but him.

reason ff. fiiiiive. dear god. im sorry for this being this long: john loves. he clearly loves very hard. he was clearly wrecked by arthurs death, he would clearly crawl through hell for his family, he was clearly hurt because his love for javier eventually stabbed him in the back. however, to me, a lot of this love feels similar to the love john has for dutch, or arthur, really. its familial, its platonic, it sure as hell isnt romantic. (even if the games themselves like to joke about it being so lol.)

its just clear to me that he loves. he cant not love jack and abi after everything hes done for them. he cant not love javier after being so close for so long. but in the same vein, he cant not love dutch for the same reasons. ysee what i mean? his devotion to his wife and child feels identical to the devotion to dutch, compared to arthur, whos devotion to eliza and isaac directly went against his devotion to dutch.

much like with dutch, where john was still seen as a boy, he will ferociously do the big things for his family (saving jack, defending the ranch, tackling gangsters and robbers). he will almost always fail to do the little things that would make him a true man, though. yknow. winding down, relaxing, just working, not getting involved in fights. spending some time with his family maybe. 

he can shape up and be good, he just never does. 

and i think thats why hes so torn between leaving on his own, leaving with his family, or staying with the gang. theres no difference between romantic, platonic, or familial love for him. when arthur tells him to go be with his family and john replies "youre my brother" its not only announcing arthur as family, but i think it only reinforces that blurred line of what love is for john. "i love you the same as them, why must i leave you behind? if they are family and i love them, then you too must be family, for i love you."

point six: i hope you remembered the first few points like i told you to. you did remember right

this brings us back around to john not being a man by not being a romantic, arthurs family being passed off to him, and also john not wholly being himself later on. in the epilogue, between 1899 and 1908, we hear about how john has been unable to avoid trouble and has them on the run still. whenever abigail asks something of him, he instead goes and does what he wants. its only after she leaves him (ultimate failure of being a man) do we see him start to shape himself up again, and i would argue this shaping up increases substantially after he reunites with charles. charles sets him on the right path and reawakens that memory of arthur. i imagine being close to blackwater also helps here. id argue due to charles' apparent closeness with arthur, and then sudden closeness to john due to john being all thats left of arthur... it makes john also feel like hes all thats left of arthur. i believe after speaking with charles and thinking to himself, he decides to fulfill the one dream arthur had, seemingly, at the end: take care of the family he had lost. well, eliza and isaac are six feet in the dirt so next best option: abi and jack. 

john starts to become quieter and more in his own shell- by rdr1 hes struggling to even really ask people for help with the most basic things. he becomes a lot more of a romantic speaker. he had always used fancy words with the gang, but never with charismatic purpose in the way i feel he does in rdr1. he starts making the decisions he thinks arthur would make. as a result, the hole that arthur left behind when he died, does not get filled by john. instead it simply gets filled with whatever arthur john can muster from within himself.

id also like to bring up john being the favorite, but not the golden boy. he was the youngest and most spoiled, but he was not the one dutch turned to for just about everything. he was still living in arthurs shadow, so i imagine all of that also plays a role in johns choice to live like arthur to get his family back, to be a man. he failed at being a man by his own merits. arthur was a real man by his own merits, lets just do what we've always done and look up to our older brother about it. copy what he does. clearly hes got it all figured out, even though you know he didnt, after reading the journal. 

this all is finally bolstered by john making the choice to kill micah and repeat the VDL cycle of violence, which ruins the perfect life he made for himself. he makes another decision HE, not arthur, HE would make, and thus has to deal with the consequences. 

in conclusion: i think john loves a lot and very hard. hes passionate about these people. but in his own words towards javier that start to become readable as projection, "hes a cynic that wants to be a romantic" and "hes all passion, no love ('no love' being how he perceives it, due to the views of those around him. he loves abigail and jack, he loved arthur, though because his version of love was different than theirs, its not read as love. therefore, he has none in his own eyes)." 

all of this coupled with a detached attachment style that leaves him cold and distant leaves him being tugged along in romances he truthfully does not feel the same about. he says he does, because he loves, but he doesnt know why the love isnt the same. so, clearly, since he loves, he must want the romance. he has to perform it for love regardless of if he truly does want romance or not. if he loves, he must be a romantic, and hes failing at being a romantic, so he cant be himself. he must be someone else in order to convey his love to his family.

i hope i got everything across alright ^-^ feel free to ask questions or send more asks ive got plenty more where that came from

[eggwishing]

eebsiebeebsie how d i draw such fun sketchies like u do. how do u loosen up and get da creative juices flowing. how do u stick to ur style have u just found how u like 2 draw and feels good. whas it something u cultivated on purpose or just happened. how do u not forget how 2 draw every time u go to do it ( mayb this isnt a problem for u but it is for mee lol) Sawrry if this is a lot of questions for ur beautiful mind. i lov ur art and ur very inspiring 2 me always 🫶

!!! I just remembered this ask was in my inbox, oops …. Sorry anon🙏 it’s been a couple days!! Sometimes i just find myself in a mood to make art so i turn on music and draw whatever comes to mind first. Usually it;s like a dragon or some other creature, and then i go on from there after warming up. but other days it’s tougher than that. i’ll have to sit myself down and put away all distractions and force myself to get over the hurdle of getting started. Then i usually get into a flow. Sometimes i don’t so i give myself a minute before trying again. I really should be doing that right now lol.. i got things i need to do… but this isn’t about that!! Moving on!! i don’t really try to Stick to a style exactly, it kind of just comes out how it comes out. Sometimes i Will see cool art that i do like and note what about it appeals to me, and then try to incorporate that into what i draw the next time i sit down to do it. My style is incrementally & constantly changing in small ways n it happens both naturally as i improve at drawing certain things and unnaturally as i sprinkle in bits of other people’s styles. The main idea is just drawing what you think looks good !

sometimes i do forget things i’ve previously learned, but that just comes from going for a while without using it. Sometimes i go too long drawing simple paw-looking hands and have to take a minute and do a handful of hand studies to refresh. The best way to retain what you’ve learned is to use it regularly. It’s like a muscle 😊🙏 do some studies, then have fun making some drawings of characters you like or locations while applying it. i enjoy drawing anatomy on its own so i often just have pages of muscle sketches and weird poses. The way you learn is also important. if you’re following along & copying something without analyzing why it looks that way in that pose, or at that angle, it may make it harder in the long run to retain anything useful. Make cheat sheets for yourself. Leave little notes next to drawings with tips or explanations that may help you later. doing that helped a lot when i was first learning^^

also give yourself ample time to warm up. Sometimes you just need to go through a few rough sketches before it starts to come back to you. I used to get really frustrated, thinking i had suddenly forgotten everything , when really i just had to give my art brain a second to wake up. Patience and perseverance are key

thank you so much for the ask and your sweet words ^^ i’m really honored that my art inspired you, and i hope you’re able to get something useful out of what i’ve said!!

[sillyxaly]

Since im skipping class have a TGCF AU idea ramble.

Premise is smt like: strong spiritual weapons can develope and switch into a human form (see. Rain Masters Mount. The Boy had it going)

Aka. Im turning our babies into people but only part time.

Cut because much spoiler for all Plot

Let us begin

Ruoye:

Ruoye turns human about a medium percentage of the time and is suprisingly rather talkactive with Xie Lian. They cant be curled up and cozy in Xie Lians sleeve when they do, which is about the biggest downside. I imagen when they were a younger spirit they were much more curios, exploring and testing their limits in silk form, learning a lot about their own limits and how not to get tangled up into knots. It was semi-acidential when they first turned human and jumping up all proud they promptly fell back down face first. Gravitiy baby. They figured all that out relativly quickly tho.

Ruoye has unbeliavbly long white hair and it gets tangled everywhere and on everything much to Xie Lians dismay. He tried putting it in a big braid but that just ended up getting Ruoye stuck on some branches and didnt help the knots in their hair so he resigned himself to the task of combing it on a regular basis. Ruoye mostly turns to wander of and explore a bit (and happily tell Xie Lian of their findings) because even now that they have grown they still remain curious in nature or to help out with the chores sometimes. Although they do hate getting dirty in general. When younger I also imagen Ruoye often asked about how they came to be, after all a spiritual silk band like themselves must have some origin. Xie Lian has managed to avoid the topic each and every time, leaving Ruoye clueless about its own involvement in past events. A very good decision because I dont think thats something anyone would want to know.

Some more general appearance (which I hopefully will actually draw one day) Ruoye is pale and wears white which isnt really that original but theres only so much my mind can do with white slik. Aside from the long hair which is usually open unless Xie Lian ties into into something for them their sleeves are also long. They grew into it to the extent they dont trip over their own clothes anymore but its still enough to blow in the wind and turn them into a giant silk again visually speaking. After the final showdown and being stitched back together they also have a rather big scar on their stomach which bothers themselves a little to look at, but they dont have to very often so they sometimes forget its there.

Eming:

Ruoye was not happy when showing off by turning human resultet in Eming doing the same. Starting with general appearance here. One red eye as per usual. Id imagen Eming never bothered much covering the other or the lack of one and neither did Hua Cheng. Eming is Pale and almost silvery to the extent Xie Lian thought he might be sick upon first seeing him (Eming didnt mind it got him attention). While technically also a good 800 years old by now Eming remains the form of a teenager which actually makes him smaller than Ruoye, much to their pleasure and his dismay.

Anyhow, Eming Propably does know how it was formed. Hua Cheng just told him very early on to have it out of the way and not be troubled with it later. Eming didnt really use to be in human form much if at all until Xie Lian came around and he started doing it more and more to help him with as many things as he possibly could (butting heads with Ruoye about the praised it earned him many times). There was just not much of a reason prior and he had to always be on call on vigilant for Hua Cheng so thats that. Sometimes now he just turns human because Xie Lian thinks hes rather cute and he loves getting that pointed out. Makes him all giddy. Eming likely talks less than Ruoye in general which is subconcious because Hua Cheng only allows so much and he is already not so happy about Eming taking on human form just to steal away geges attention. Eming did open up to Ruoye a little post-canon. Since Xie Lian spends a lot of time just being lovey dovey with Hua Cheng the two weapons also have a lot more downtime so Ruoye dragged Eming along to explore Ghost City one of those days. And well, even for Eming you can only listen to so much chatter and happy comments about the structure of the buildings or whatever else caught Ruoyes eye before you slowly start to join the conversation. Turns out Eming can actually talk quiet a lot! They probably bond over that and now Ruoye drags him along all the time. This does in no way mean they dont still fight for Xie Lians attention. It does however mean they get to complain to one another about how they both lost that fight to Hua Cheng.

Fangxin

Xie Lian actually didnt know Fangxin had a human form for the longest time and was rather startled when he first turned out of nowhere. It was likely at someones doorstep when Xie Lian was doing the usual scrap business that a tall and posed man just suddenly stood there pointing at a book asking something along the lines of "can we get this one?"

Fangxin did tragically not convince the owner to give them the book for free which was likely only because he was told to keep at least a semi-low profile and hes not one to disappoint Jun Wu.

Fengxin I feel has intricatly braided hair with a few little pieces of silver jewlery in it. Generally clothes in black and the tallest of our three with some little silver and white adornment. Xie Lian assumed it took the sword a lot of energy to turn because after not getting what he asked for he turned right back and didnt turn again for a long time. In truth Fengxin just doesnt care a whole lot. He turns mostly to pass the time with a scroll when he can and talks only as much as necessary during his time with Xie Lian. This is partially because the less he turns and talks the less likely he is to spill any secrets and while he isnt that talkactive to begin with he also isnt much in need of new friends to risk it. A very loyal soul. It also gives Fangxin some more old man vibes which just reiterates Xie Lians believe that, while a good weapon, Fangxin seems to be pretty old. Therefore he doesnt question it much and politly accepts the fact that Fangxin does not wish to converse with him when he turns and they just kind of co-exsist in the same space until Fangxin decides to turn back. Hes barely noticable really.

Ruoye doesnt like him a whole lot. Odd feeling about the guy. It might just be because they are very unalike in nature (if you ask Xie Lian at least) and Fangxin never quiet humored and of Ruoyes exploring or little rambles quietly refusing to engage.

Xie Lian has, much to his shock, has to find out that Fangxin isnt actually old or too weak to hold a human form for long after Jun Wu takes the sword back. Back where he truly belongs Fangxin has more the aura of a confident youth. In fact Fangxin actually quiet enjoys a good fight and is rather thrilled to finally be allowed to work at full power again. He isnt much less of a menace than his master. If I were to indulge greatly id imagen Fangxin actually rapidly switching between human and sword form in the fight for some cool moves but yall can decide that as you will. One way or the other with Jun Wu Fanxin is somewhat a reflection of who that man used to be. Confident, proud, strong and always excited to spar. Because i think thats neat and Fangxin is at heart still Jun Wus weapon. He is meant as such and I intend to fight anyone on that. This is also the reason Fangxin kept his secrets and played a low profile. Very loyal soul.

Suprise! More because nobody can stop me now!

The wind and water master fan:

I dont quiet remember if they were made as a pair in canon but they will be here, making them essentially twins! Very close twins to be precise. Whenever they get together you can be sure a little chaos ensues and they have much to talk about. I dont really have much of a mental image on them except that id think its cool if their outfits are complimentary? Like they do very clearly match but they dont wear the same thing. They did that fully on purpose by the way.

For the wind master fan I imagen its a lively fellow. While dutiful enough to know when to not turn and remain a weapon for safetys sake and that it should always stay close to Shi Qingxuan in case it it needed, it does turn pretty often. To an extent where most heavenly officials actually know the Fan about as well as the Master. They probably have regular chats too. I just kind of imagen whenever Shi Qingxuan is strolling through the heavens without anything to do the wind master fan is strolling right next to her matching her step. And you better be sure they find something to talk about until a task arises and they need to actually work.

The water master fan is a bit less lively but that is mostly due to Shi Wudu just not being as conversing (although maybe they do gossip together sometimes. Feels like Shi Wudu might gossip to his weapon because his weapon wont snitch) and its not like Shi Wudu has that many friends it could talk to instead. So when it turns its mostly to serve as a lowkey junior official or when it meets its twin and they can chat!

Funnily enough both of them actually picked up the habit of changing between female and male form (much to Shi Wudus building headache and Shi Qingxuans delight). Shi Wudu 100% thinks his brother set them up to do that, but thats only half true. While the Wind Master fan definetly picked up the habit from its master and passed it on to its twin, shi Qingxuan never actually went out of her way to tell them to do it. Nontheless the added strength to her ultimate goal of getting everyone in heaven to try it at least once has gained forces! She is very pleased.

After a certain Arc the wind master fan is having some emotional troubles with grief and death and also some scars. While theirs are more faint than Ruoyes because my brain registers this as a more "brought back from the dead" type of Situation than Ruoye for some reason they have more of them.

The earth master shovel:

The wind master fan has tried to convince them to show their human form many many times and failed many many times. No matter how much he would huff, puff or beg they never complied. Shi Qinxuan put that on the list of: "Why Ming-xiong should train using his spiritual weapons more often" because surely the poor thing just doesnt know how. They both find it unlikely it lacks the power to do so, this shovel can burry through anything! Surely it should have enough spiritual power to form a human appearance.

The truth is that, while technically able, He Xuan actually put some type of seal on it to prevent this. While he did get rid of the earth master he couldn't exactly dump his weapon altogether, but he had to make sure that his cover isnt blown instantly so he just had to prevent the thing from speaking. Easy as that.

Later, when with Yin Yu, the Earth Master Shovel had the seal lifted, but turning into a human form was still difficult. Even if it could it didnt use these legs in a long time and likely had to relearn a lot of things like walking and maybe even speaking because of the whole incident. Yin Yu likely helped with that when he could. They bonded a bit over that.

[sumikatt]

frankly, i think your point about "some people train their own AI art models" is inherently flawed because rhe vast majority of people are not training their own model. they are paying for a service which was trained on art that was taken from the internet and used without permission in order for a machine to try snd recreate something similar bit by bit. i havent gotten a commission from someone who isnt a friend of mine in well over a year because people are just choosing to generate art with AI. i dont think AI art isnt "real" art because yeah, i agree with you, the whole idea of real art or not is complex. however, it is an undeniable reality that AI is trained on the work of artists all over the world who do not even get asked for permission before a tech company makes money off of their hard work.

I agree it’s a small, small portion of people making their own models that ensure that all art involved is used with consent. Many people buy a subscription or credits to generate what they want. Most people probably use free credits on Discord to make a meme or anime girls. Many people use it many different ways, yes.

I’m sorry you’ve lost a client over it. I know commissions are hard. Freelancers without dedicated clients would be the ones to suffer most from the popularity of AI art. I can’t say I’ve felt the impact myself, since it’s also very popular to be anti-AI.

Actively searching through job boards, I also feel like it has barely affected those listings. Maybe one of like 300 art jobs in the USA/Sweden asked for AI experience (Prompt Artist), and it was an AI startup. The “normal” art jobs like UI/UX, Environments, Materials, Concept, Technical, Animator, etc all still asking for 3 years experience for entry level lmao. Saw an intern position that required an “industry-standard” portfolio. So still a pain as it was before advanced AI gen.

Many paid AI art services have takedown options for their training sets and can block names from being prompted. If you were a popular enough artist to be in a training set, you can remove it and block the majority of AI art users from copying you—like you said, a majority of people use these services instead of self-hosting.

(Sending DMCA takedown requests are actually pretty easy. I had to send one to an old teacher who reposted my art and a bunch of classmates’ art on her ArtStation. that was funny lol)

I’m not sure how I felt when I went to search up my art on haveibeentrained. Because I’m a nerd, I’d preemptively blocked scrapers on my portfolio, so nothing was there when I looked. Searched up my legal name, my old Twitter (which had some popular pieces), my old DeviantArt usernames. Nothing there, either. I was probably pruned from the set for being low-quality. Kinda funny, I thought I’d be good enough to include at least once. Maybe next time.

.safetensors / .ckpt files (which are the models Stable Diffusion runs) have no image data in them, by the way. It is all math and numbers in there. There is no way of telling what was included in the training set, unless the dev(s) that made the model release it publicly. The models themselves are usually around 3–6 GB, though there’s larger ones and mini ones.

Like my own silly brain, there’s no way of tracking down the exact art pieces the software was referencing off of when it generates something. Am I making money off of another artist’s hard work when I remember how to draw heads from a Proko video? Am I ripping off photographers when I recall their pictures when drawing my characters? I’m not a tech company, but I still make money off of the things I copy and filter through my mind and hand.

I’m rambling at this point, sorry. Of course, the core issue is capitalism. How different would people see this medium if money were not an issue? How futuristic, how exciting it is to visualize something from words alone. It’s that art machine I’d always wanted as a kid, where I think of something and it pops out on the page finished.

I think it is worth to uplift those who use the medium as ethically as they can, as @are-we-art-yet is doing—having a do-not-use artist list, avoiding corporations, don’t try to undercut traditional artists. Like with any medium, there’s a variety of artists. Some are nice and do their best to have a good impact, some don’t care at all about the ethics of their art.

I’m still pretty firmly a “traditional” artist. I won’t stop drawing or give up because of AI. I play with AI on my own hardware and power for fun and for getting ideas (is that stealing?). It’s mostly replaced scrolling through Pinterest for me, but I still save people’s art and photos that I like in my computer, so I can look at em later, maybe get inspired. And steal like an artist, I guess.

[kaleidosouls]

SU reclaimed pearl rambles

im gonna use some annoying comments i got on my reclaimed pearl as a springboard for what i think could be interesting discussion because i think its good to engage with criticism/different opinions. but also if you talk to me like an asshole i want you to fuck off and i promised i wouldnt engage in that kind of stuff bc its not good for me and it doesnt Look good for me either.

so i can talk about my thoughts but not engage directly, win win. its been months but im still really fond of the pearl i made specially this art. like it coudl be better but i like it well enough. just a little header so this isnt a boring post with only text

i think like, its good to establish ground rules that like, i think most of the poor reactions ive seen towards my art were missing, mostly in bad faith probably but in case theres ppl who earnestly want to understand. actually maybe i can format it like a little FAQ even though theyre not frequent or asked lskdjg just for outlining my points. ill put it behind a cut but ill frontline w this: if youre a fan of pearl in the show, this content is not for you. youre allowed to like whatever you want and so am i. if you like her, we probably wont get along and you probably will feel very personally irritated by how i FEEL about her, so just walk away now. im not gonna engage with petty shit taht juts boils down to 'im mad you dont like what i like'

onwards to more rambling / sorta responding to some criticism

i scrolled back and i guess i sorta never have actually done a proper full explanation post about this AU have i? or maybe i have and deleted it, i forgor

why did you change pearl?

because i hate her, simple as. i went from a huge SU fan to hating watching it (i did finish) and pearl is probably The biggest reason why, as like issues with her character seep into other aspects of the show that i also hate. like i mean i Realyl hate her. she makes the experience of watching the show really irritating and miserable for me. if you dont feel taht way about her thats totally normal and whatever but no one is gonna change my experience and feelings that i had watching SU since the 1st season was coming out.; anyway answering. there is a Lot i love about SU and want to engage with, so i had the idea of like,maybe ill just change pearl, cause i wanted to delete her, really, but she is one of the main characters and she hasa function as a character that you cant just do away with. essentially im just like, some guy, who draws, coping and trying to reclaim his teenage investimetn in this show. literally its just for ME. but if anyone else feels like i do, then they can enjoy it too. if somoene doesnt feel like i do, go watch like pearl fancams or smth. like ill never be able to literlaly change the show as it is, like its happened, and its a tragedy im trying to move on from (begrudgingly)

why do you hate pearl?

the long laundry list of reasons are probably apparent in the ways i remade her lol (theyre not i can tell ppl are gonna project whatever worst bad faith reason for any change i make) but tbh the core of it is this, which is like, beyond whatever traits she has and whatever: she reminds me of my abusers. always had, from season 1, but like it became worse as the series went on. its like really infurating and upsetting to watch SU bc of her. had my abusers been a different kind of person, maybe i wouldnt hate her so much (kinda doubt tbh). like her personality and behavior are like hough disgosting!!

why did you change (some physical trait about her design)?

i dont really necessarily have a PROBLEM with canon pearls design. over the years ive come to like SU's style less and less but like, gestures, whatever. like i didnt like it or anything but its not like a bit deal compared to the actual offender that is her personality and behavior. the reason i redesigned her at all is bc like, if i hadnt, i would still be thinking about the way she is in canon all the time. like ive visually associated her like, appearance with all the shit about her thta makes me upset so i had to so she didnt look like the same person anymore, and i can try to let go of some of the hatred in my heart. like i want to think about the thigns about SU that i loved and also the potential i always saw in it and canon pearl is like, an active obstacle to that, to the point taht i cant even see her without getting like irked. i tried to keep enough similar traits so from a glance youd be like, who the fuck- is that pearl? rather than like. completely change her entirely to whatever i wanted. i do want to like, its a creative exercise. i want to try and change the things that would make me happy to see gone but try to work within the constraints of the SU we Did get as much as i can tolerate. bc like.... if the sky was the limit then at this poin wed just have to throw the whole thing away and start from scratch. like its kinda not really very salvageable, like im not rewirting SU to be like a Good show or fix Everything, its kinda too broken. im just chnaging enough so i can look at the actual show, screenshots, songs etc, and not feel overcome wtih like the grief and irriatation of how much it sucked ass. its just so i can enjoy more of it again

i dont like your redesign for (insert reason)

cool. thanks for your input. youre welcome! eat my asshole. seriously though, like, shrugs. i didnt make it for anyone other than myself. tbh im not fully satisfied with it either bc i think the SU style is kinda ugly, so im at a crossroads. should i mostly abandon the SU style? ive like, tested out tweaking things, it mightve been noticeable in screenshot redraws. drawing within the SU style is to create that coping 'oh it was totally like this haha' vibe but maybe im old enough to not need that anymore lol. like ive heard ppl say shit like shes ugly, or like sneakily trying to imply im like, got some agenda over beauty or racism etc. like whatever, think whatever you want, its not for you. go back to sucking up to rebecca or smth like i cant take the og pearl away from you still i am open for like that kind of criticism like, do i have personal biases affecting my design decisions? probably. i do try to keep aware of why im choosing certain things, but really in this case i cant emphasize enough how like, irritating it is that i have to change her design at all. like its hard to come up w smth else when the rest of the cast ahs already been design to balance off the og pearl. i probably wouldnt change almost anything if the sight of her didnt piss me the fuck off! most of all i kinda wouldve preferred to keep her hair short bc it messes up the sillouete but it makes me think too much of canon pearl so i made it long :/ i was like let me tell you my design thought process: -im gonna try to keep as many recognizable traits about her design while taking away bit by bit until she doesnt look like the og pearl to me anymore and i dont feel angry seeing her. pearl is lanky, tall, spindly, with a gem on the forehead, blue white pink yellow pastel colors, large pointed nose. i kinda tried to keep these traits while slightly tweaking their design until she looked different enough. is it a good design? eh idk. like the purpose is to make me not hate her and it does that job

now this hate comment im gonna grace with keeping it intact except removing the person bc its not about them. its like, a very stupid ass headed comment but im actually kind of interested in like,jumping off of it to ponder some things

im not heterosexual or cis enough to know what exactly wife bate means in this context so im gonna like guess, that maybe i could extract this q from that reply (also not looking like shes from steven universe is a compliment thanks)

you took away her personality and made her boring

the only thing i can assume is that like, some people must interpret the absence of an assholey personality or like abusive behavior is 'boring'. i know thats a really bad faith assumption but like, if ive written down a bunch of personality traits and you still come out saying thats 'no personality' what am i to make of that lol. based on my experience like Existing online, people tend to often call nice characters 'boring', like dude ive done it before, but i think im kinda over that edgy phase. also again, its for me and not for you so if you think shes boring, thanks for your input i dont care. but thinkign about it earnestly, i dfeintely dont want to make a character thats just no flaw and not interesting ofc, i havent done that with reclaimed pearl. that being said i havent like, probably written a lot demonstrating what i want her to be like instead of the canon pearl so, maybe ppl just are feeling lost with the lack of information.

personally, if i hear someone thinks a character is boring bc theyre not abusive anymore like, nothing of value has been lost. but characters do need flaws in order to create conflict and cause things to happen, like in a way canon pearl is like All flaw, which wouldnt be a problem except she gets away wtih all the horrible shit she did. heres some traits i want to explore with reclaimed pearl, some are similar to canon i just wanna go about it a different way: being overprotective/possessive to steven in a smothering way, projecting abandonment issues, not reaching out/communicating her emotions properly, lacking indepedence/self worth, depending on others to avoid confronting her own issues, being very passive and insecure and lacking initiative (this being the totally opposite trait that canon pearl has), stunting stevens development due to her not being ready for him to grow up and not need her anymore. and more, this is just from the top of my head. maybe thats still too 'boring' for ppl because shes not being selfish and inconsiderate enough to others so you can relate to her but i dont care :p

gosh how do i go about like, presenting the content i ahve in my head for this AU).. i cantjust remake the whole damn show. i would if i could, tbh

i have concerns about racist implications wrt (insert thing here about my redesign)

imma be frank. i dont know how to compltely 'clean up' any possible bad associations wrt pearl as a character given how like, rebecca has literally like, made her to be a slave in love with her slave owner and made it to be like, an uwu ideal lesbiab thing for most of the show until they tried to pretend no we understood the flaws in this dynamic all along and its bad actually , uhh, anyway shows over haha

ill say the main reason i changed her skintone is, bc that would be the like most instant way to make her look differnt from canon (which is vital for me for the reasons said above), and i did consider like, does this make the whole thing worse, or, ?? like, as they made it in the show, techincally All the gems are slaves to the diamonds, arent they? including all the very totally progressive poc based gems including and specially the ones who are made to be understood as black women. bruh like idk what to tell you this show is just fuckig bad sdlgkj like its just way too like, pervasive in my teen years forme to throw the baby w the bathwater entirely. and ill just straight up say it, like, im not a specialist on these topics nor do i hav ea position of authority to speak on about it. like the pearls read more clearly as slaves (very intentionally by the showrunners) bc they are meant to be subservient to gems Other than diamonds. and also bc they like fit in the stereotype of housemaid servant. like the rubies being made to just be forced to go and fight like they are slaves too, they have no rights and no like, authority to disobey or autonomy. but fsr like, slavery as in physical labor just doesnt immeidately set off ppls alarms as much as housework slavery does fsr.

i can only rly like change the canon so much and try to like, tweak things so it doesn feel as gross but i think for it to be cmpletely not insneistive at all youd have to throw away the whole show. and like i said, this isnt like me saying like im making the show good or as it shouldve been, im making it so I (and ppl who share my feelings about the show) can feel less shitty just thinking back to it. its just an exercise. im not like mass media im just one independent artist and shit will come out insensitve sometimes and im sorry but im also like, my art isnt meant to be representative and like, responsiuble for fixing all of society and racism like i actually cant do that. ill just do the best i can as an asian dude but like, if my work makes you upset, im sorry, but also just block me. like i cant please everyone. or like, even better, make YOUR take on pearl taht you feel would be better, like make the art you feel should exist.

this post is too damn long and id be surprised if anyone reads all of it but if you do, tahnk you! i felt kinda like ready to fight tonight so im triyng to redirect it from aggression to like, thinking. i cant guarantee im making new content for su reclaimed anytime soon but i would really like to, tbh